We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

Today marks day number 2 of the single life, once again. My ex and I broke up for the second time. This time around though, it was mutual destruction that led to our demise, other than just his own. I have been stressed because of work, because of my dog, Winston, being mauled, because of my apartment situation, and although these things shouldn't factor into my relationship, the stress was consuming me and I found myself overreacting towards his actions, in situations that were sometimes out of his control, many times. Which led to his fear of telling me the truth, which eventually led to our breakup. Mostly because the one thing I respect in people the most is their honesty. If I can't get that out of my significant other, than they have no business being with me, as I would never respect them. Although, I might add, the things I was lied to about were things I never would have been angry about. So, the lying was actually the only thing that upset me about the situations we had conflicts about.

I'm feeling very conflicted. In one respect, I feel a sense of relief. Like I have let go of my former stresses. But in the other, I feel deeply saddened because of my loss. I really do love him, but maybe he is just too young and has too many pieces to put into place to withstand some of my own imbalances. I have no idea at this point. It's all very confusing, as relationships are. This is probably why I avoided them for so long.

The rain to the wind said,

'You push and I'll pelt.'

They so smote the garden bed

That the flowers actually knelt,

And lay lodged--though not dead.

I know how the flowers felt.

Robert Frost